Chris Addison and his BREEAM gags

So BREEAM has now finally made it. If a prominent comedian is making jokes about something then it must be on the right lines. So worry not over at the BRE at the battering you received at the hands of Chris Addison, who spoke at last night’s Building Sustainability Awards. The star of one of my favourite TV shows of recent times, The Thick of It, has been a columnist with Building for over a year now so his material was well advanced of the usual “how long does it take to get a plumber”/”aren’t builders shit” one-liners you expect from the usual host of such events.

I bumped into some stupefied sustainable figures after Addison’s routine still shocked at the sharpness of his material. He began his BREEAM portion with the observation that it was good for the people who handled BREEAM “to have a hobby” then railed against what he saw as the absurdity of the system. “It takes five years to get a certificate… five years.. and how long does it take to become an assessor.. two days.” He then picked on the credits system. “If you want to design a building with radiators on the outside make sure you don’t build a car park.” He did take a swipe at the LEED system, on the basis of where it comes from.

Another pretty decent gag? More of a traditional target, that of the volume housebuilders. Those that were left in the room that is. He claimed that the Barratts and the Wimpeys of the world had always been interested in sustainability, given that people “biodegrade when they are living there”. We’d love to be able to put up his entire routine but unfortunately due to copyright issues we can’t. But I did interview him on camera afterwards, which was entertaining.

Anyone got some other BREEAM/ green building gags? Do they exist? Perhaps we should start a green gag competition for Christmas on the Building site. To lighten the mood somewhat in these gloomy times.

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